Head and Tail

Picture these:
Exhibit A: Two wrongs can never make a right
Exhibit B: Two rights do not necessarily make the right combination

Life is no metaphor. There is never one single truth. Its how one perceives it. Both head and tail co-exist in a coin but they always stand for opposites. They both stand true in their space, but it’s all about the choice made.

I had been craving for Sugarcane pulp for past few days now. Every market visit, big or small, makes me salivate in mind. The last time I had it was on 1^st May after dropping off Akshay, quenching my thirst like nothing else can ever possess power to do. Today on Mother’s Day, mom surprised me with a glass of pulp she brought home for me. I added some ice cube in it, let it be for 5 minutes, and then gulped it all. Despite the days of craving, it felt bland. It made me question the ‘TRUTH’  about my heart’s desire.

But it was only after an half hour or so, I was surprised with a half glass more of the same pulp, the last of the purchase. This time it was refrigerated and I my soul was satisfied even with the lesser amount, telling me how the same reality became truth to my thirst in a different scenario. That’s Life.

I have a wonderful set of friends. The set has condensed a lot over the past few months but I am still not being honest as friend. I definitely don’t want to put the burden of whole friendship benefits on just one or two but my mistakes, some of them becoming a shameful habit - like circle of life – like being MIA in wishing Akshay on his Birthday, are breaking me to know what is wrong with me. It is not about being comfortable with myself – for I am becoming very confident of myself, in all my weaknesses and shortcomings also - but about knowing who is right for me and who is okay. No one is wrong, period!

I understood I need a Punjabi or Punjabipan for love, because that is how I see myself being true to my presence. I am understanding now that I need to have friends who are of my age, share the same growing up pattern as me, a good classs but not being haughty taught – as in like “Sat Sri Akal, Bye” wali feeling when you don’t agree, and to hang around like my own age.

My lack of driving skills definitely hold me back. But not that my friend’s driving skill go with my taste. Can there be galiyaan, shararat, natkhat, daring, cuteness, brevity, like a true Punjabi.

Akshay and Sahil are both great but just that they are right guys for loyalty and caring, but not for friendship. I don’t know what it is and who is it I am looking for, if at all I am really looking - be it sub consciously. I really need to be out of any and every sympathy that the world is offering.

Will I regret it? I don’t know.

But I will regret it if I did not give myself the chance to be my age and my desire.

Life works in Head and Tail. Toss cannot be controlled but performance surely can be. That will always be my call.