Impressions

The more I find myself
The more people I lose

Language, like moments, can be so easily deceived. Just change the aforementioned anonymously written two sentences and it's obvious.

We tend to enjoy learning from experiences of the new people we meet random, including multiple, times but it tends to instill a sense of either growth and/ or change. Similarly language, when without knowledge of facts for the listener, can deceive any, including the creator, if emotionally weak.

My sojourns have introduced me company of people with impressionable experiences, be it the good, the bad or the ugly. On one hand their stories make me want to lose any fear that holds me back from exploring the possibilities of life, while simultaneously they do tend to subconsciously affect my choices of time for the people in my life.  It so happens that the more I am get fearless in exploration, the more I lose people, mostly to myself being more and more self-reliant in emotions.

I dared the fire paan today, and it may sound very passable, but I dared it with a lot of fear. But even that dare got captured in a frame which I would like to change - my arms and my hand movements left an impression on me.

It was chance meeting graduation class friends, Amit and Neha, in a chance encounter at Connaught Place was really nice, even as spending a day in company of Sandhya and Nupur, the people from my sojourns. There were moments when I could see myself holding back and letting the other take hold of the conversation, and then at times I just spoke about my life story in every positive language I could find. I dared not to be weak by not accepting a lie about my no-job or low-income status or sexuality, even as I do fear if it will be discussed, hopefully in positive impressions.

I find it unnecessary to share the low parts now, for no one really want to listen what you feel like, but what they feel life. So why even bother to think the down parts when it's time to spread smiles; for it will always be my best impression with old classmates mentioning  they have randomly searched for me on Facebook. 

Everyone's life is on a wave; sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down. But the trick is not to lose yourself along the way. And when you're up, don't be an Asshole about it. Be a good person and rest will fall into place, impressions included.