Saturday, August 11, 2007

About Me


its hard to describe oneself..
either one gets too diplomatic or humble or a loudmouth..
 
its the paradox of our complicated lives..
the world we live in and the people we meet..
 
i am no extraordinary person in this world..
yet i do think that my life is one so..
 
maybe because i think i have lived my own life only.
 
i don't know how the future will be for me..
maybe i can shape it into my own desires, whims and fancies..
or maybe the future will shape how i perceive the changes that are yet to happen in me, my life and my surrounding..
 
the world i live in and the people i interact with have taught me a lot about myself..
or maybe not..
 
some 19 years that i have lived..
some million people i might have met..
some friends i never noticed..
some enemies i took friends for..
some truth i was forced to know..
some lies i blatantly said..
some worries that eat me..
some relationships i yearn for..
some time i want just for myself..
some faces i wish i never had put..
and
some boundaries i never ever had crossed.
 
..life is complicated..
 
i am what i am..
 
maybe i can be better..
maybe i can't..
 
maybe i want to be someone else..
maybe i don't..
 
maybe i can make no difference to the world i live in..
maybe i can make a lot..
 
maybe i want to make some difference..
maybe i just don't..
 
i stand on the beach and gaze the sea..
its so simple.. yet so complicated..
its so romantic.. yet so lonely..
 
my life is like this only..
 
questions i am looking answers for..
answers i am looking question with..
some mismatch.. some adulterated..
or maybe it isn't like this..
 
i just know myself..
or maybe i don't..
 
i don't want to know anyone else..
or maybe i do..
 
my life is a mystery with many secrets..
a hedge with countless chambers..
a jigsaw puzzle with only few pieces that i know..
the more i try to solve it..
the more i get confused and lonely..
 
i don't know how many among all in my world i actually know..
or how many actually know me..
 
happiness always plays hide and seek with me..
i don't know who is hiding and who is seeking..
but we are old players i a unique relation..
from birth..
from sole..
from heart..
from blood..
from life..
 
i don't know how many times i have been myself..
maybe very few.. or maybe none..
but that is what nobody likes about me..
but do i have an option..
i don't know..
or do i..
 
maybe i like that..
maybe i don't..
 
maybe i want that..
maybe i don't..
 
want to say some more..
talk my heart this at least time..
this very moment of life..
know myself some more..
know more ABOUT ME..

My Big Little Screams

'Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.'   Piglet noticed that even though...