The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behavior; it is the parent’s behavior.
Amidst my seemingly chaotic life lazily finding its direction by laying down strong path, I am being blessed to see my parents live life in their regular normal fashion. Not just this, but lately, call it the most wonderful fate, I am getting to be around a lot of married couples, expected parents and parents. It’s the most beautiful feeling to take in energy from such an environment. Everyone is just living a life as they wish to and I am getting to learn and appreciate mine, in it’s entirely.
I see my parents, going for pitfalls, as a couple, a family of their own and normal regular people. Many times, over the years, starting with a fateful October 2008 Amritsar sojourn, I have told, screamed, shouted, argued and tried to reason them the wrongs which I feel but I have never really been able to succeed. And to be most honest, I have failed in same many times with my own brother too. All of it, has made me realize, I cannot do anything to change anyone’s opinion, except changing or smarting up my own actions. And I am working on it.
I understand that even if not a priority, any marriage is set on a financial strength. Everything else is also important but this brings a security that is realised out of unconditional love and respect. All these three, love, respect and financial strength, are equally important and must co-function simultaneously. Like an eco-system, or human anatomy. So, for very obvious reasons in present times, I am no one to lecture my advice to anyone and to even get into one myself, unless that love and respect is tremendous in making itself feeling just-about-right in the moment.
My parents are just living a parent life for the first time in their life, just like every other parent. I am not carefree to their wrongs, looking at myself for a child’s need, but I am just taking it all in for a better future. If I can improve any wrong I can notice, in my future, then my parents have indeed set the right example for me to be acknowledged by others as a good parent.
Dad oversees my dinner table needs, giving him needs to be seen as the only right thing, and shutting himself to the present times. I have stopped arguing with him. Better eat and leave and let peace prevail.
Mandeep is sadly doing the same thing as Dad of not walking along with Bhabhi, like I see his and my married friend, or giving too much importance to his phone, like dad does, and many such things. I feel bad, that he is not attentive to real life around him even as it is matter of concern that I am too attentive to be effected easily. I am getting control of my attention, for smart work, and I pray my brother does the real thing too.
There is no such thing as perfect parent. Just be a Real one.
Talking about real deal, all of us are a single parent to own self. We got to nurture our mind and body, get any negativity out in our pursuit to achieve our dreams, set examples for ourselves to be looked upon for motivation in hard times and be there for our own self 24x7.
I get lazy a lot, but I have never had these moments as a child, so I do feel my mind and body are letting out all of that must but inexperienced emotions. However, laziness is also letting my soul open to fears and much negativity is borne out of my idle mind. But like a real parent, I am open to my social scenario and selfishly taking all the positivity from them. A random WhatsApp message or a sudden phone call or a chance Facebook post, there is some positivity in everything around. I am parenting myself in the real world, living in moments by adopting micro outlook for happiness and macro freedom for struggles.
Sometimes, wrong things become so regular that they become the normal and the same wrong becomes the accepted habit. But that doesn’t change the reality. My reality is that I have left good trace of talent and I am freeing myself from all bad habits. I must be a good parent to bring a good child in myself and for my family. I am ready to selfishly take all good from the world in and eradicate every ounce of bad habit, no matter the exhausting self-induced pains.
Life is the best parent and I am living with the best.