The Comfort Zone

All Progress takes place outside the Comfort Zone

Over the past few years, I have realised that the more closer we get to someone, the more careful we become in sharing our concerns as we become more scared of hurting that person. Which is weird, as to how difficult it should be to share matters of the heart. Words, I agree, must be rightly selected. But why can’t we believe in the person to understand us?

When Sahil shared with me drunken time with Himanshu, I could sense how concerned he was with his fear of losing a friendship. Sahil is the most patient guy I have known, but now I feel patience isn’t everything. Sometimes we really need to take a leap of faith in what the heart feels right and let the world take its course. Sahil is still not able to do that, but his friendship with me has made me grow out of my own comfort zone and for that, I will always be thankful for life.

I did a movie marathon today. Three films, back-to-back, in the same auditorium of the same multiplex. It was like the timings of the three films I really wanted to watch on big screen fell into the right screening time slot – Wonder Woman, Despicable M3 and Baby Driver – all for me. This comes, after my four back-to-movie marathon in 2012 (16 July) when I binge watched Tere Bin Laden, Inception, Udaan and The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

This time, I had some sudden but big realizations:

• I always like watching a movie till the very end of its credits
• I tend to enjoy every movie I watch, no matter the shortcomings.
• I am very good at noticing critical shortcomings in the movie, no matter the genre.
• I love my movie screening with good-old salty popcorn and ice-chilled coke. I just have to.

So where does this leave me with my always confusing starry-eyed film-industry ambitions?

• I cannot take a back seat to a creating thing if I am part of it. If I can add an input to it, I will share it – with all right words and level of humility.
• Acting was my first most ambition in creative field and I am not ashamed of it. My face has started to look weary, a realization I made today, and I must work to be healthy and comfortable again..

Back to  the marathon, I could have watched Spiderman Homecoming also, but there was an hour wait after my third film. Initially I had thought of waiting that time, but realised for good that I should be heading home. Not just that I would be very late, but it might also create uncomfortable talks and situation at home. This was the most wise thing I did for my life and I was rewarded by a chance run into Tarun Sir, who is like my happiness’s lucky charm. I always meet him when I am super happy and most comfortable with myself.

A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows over there.

Having my friends around to share my crazy happy time at movies and growing wise about relationships with and because of them is a beautiful thing. But as much as I try to ward to their concern for my job because my belief in self, I must also respect their feelings for me. Agreed, I just want to fall into a trap of a wrong job anymore, but I can definitely take up something, that may add up to my resume in the best way possible.

Priyanka called yesterday to offer me a part in her VLogs by being the one who shoots her video. I never got to keep the raw footage of my Documentary shoot for Shashank, neither am I even a little hopeful for the Utility.com capsules I shot last year. This however will not just be adding to my reason, as the work I did while off-job, but is something I will have to show also in material reality. Plus, it will add up to my better communication skills -  the course which I want to take up for New Zealand shift. It’s like omens from the destiny. J

Talking about communication, I think I am still not very good at starting a communication. I understand no one can be perfect in all the topics, including the most famous one, but I can be a smart person who does not have to do small talks with his own family members – from Bhabhi to her brother to my own parents and my brother.

Agreed I am still holding a lot back to myself, but that should not make me hesitant and empty of words and topics. I need to grow out of this comfort that life as I like to live is the only good life. People just grew up differently and I must embrace the differences if I have to live in a society – India or New Zealand’s, pun intended.

I don’t like how my family react to certain things and to street dogs but instead of noticing this with concern, I should be embracing them for being their self in front of me. Only then I can laugh without any inhibitions. And be the fun person, for my Bhabhi, that I actually am. She is part of the family, not a guest anymore that I am trying to make comfortable all the time. She is smart and amazing and I don’t need to be scared for me. I just need to believe in her, as I believe in anyone who is close to me. Remember that ‘leap of faith’? J

We find comfort among those who agree with us, Growth among those who don’t