Thursday, April 26, 2018

Confessions, Symbiont and Time



Venom confesses, "We all have our own problems, our own issues, our own demons."

The demon, that Venom unflinchingly speaks about, is there in every individual as a Symbiont, living a symbiotic life. 'A symbiont is the smaller of the two and is always the beneficiary in the relationship, while the larger organism is the host and may or may not derive a benefit.'

My symbiotic relationship with my demons dates back to as long as I can recall my life in time; never being myself and always someone else's idea of the me, when inside all I wanted was to break free with screaming. All that time, when I let my demons derive the worst from me, I never thought I will be have to face the same time again, as confessions, like the time never moves forward. My time, in all its beautiful blessings, has stayed still, because of the confessions of my demons.

I am no Stanley Ipkiss or Eddie Brock, but the unseen Symbiont in my life refuses to let me go. Today I wish to be the me that I really wanted to. And it kills me with all this pain and loneliness and even laziness as my time keeps moving but I keep falling back. I really want to see my future work without any regret.

It scares me to even write. I am terrified of writing, because every word I form, every sentence I create, will ultimately be recorded in history as part of human's messy language that never conveys the time and feelings of the writer. A tool can be weapon, as per the judgement of the user. So is our language; and even our demons too perhaps.

Can these demons be controlled? The symbiont could have bonded with anyone but only the deepest desire of Ipkiss to be the centre of attention and Brock's rage and frustration could have created Mask and Venom, respectively. Both cases have a symbiont that thrives on their host, it is for them to timely confess to self where their problems, issues and demons rest.

Ipkiss and Brock, though had one more thing in common, apart from the symbiotic relationship - they both had a lady love, to calm their symbiont down. I need to find mine. Will Time as a Karmic entity be same? I can't think anything greater than time.

I have made my time non-linear because of my demons when it should be the me as a host who should work on living a clear life. Say more often what I want to and be myself more and more often, so that my symbiont and me become one.

I know time will heal all demons but with a non-linear life like me, I better get working to find that one love, physical or metaphysical, to not just calm myself down but win over my Symbiont without having to throw it off.

Sitting in a filth that I will wash off, my human language may remain messy but the confessions will never be in linear time frame. I do hope so.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Confessions, Symbiont and Time

Venom confesses, "We all have our own problems, our own issues, our own demons." The demon, that Venom unflinchingly s...