Pretentious Withdrawal Symptoms

If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know.

I don’t know if it is about the treats I am feeding or the silent but unflinching love I am sharing with Chuck, which is making him stick to me like a magnet. Whatever it is, I feel a love and care unlike I have ever shown to anyone. I feel responsibility and concern that I would selfishly love to reserve for myself. And I feel scared about his life in a way that even a short time pinch that I am not able to spare for him, as if he needs me 24x7.

My being with him, in entirety, probably only explains why my world almost collapsed when he threw up today, first on me and then on the floor. For a flash of second I did feel disgust at the situation, as is probably normal, but the fear for his health was what immediately sunk in and I felt like a helpless father to my sick baby. I cleaned the puke as if it was normal, and spend the day with him, just so he can rest. I resisted from treating him or even moving out of his sight, just so he would sleep peacefully. And all this while, I could not help but feel the tears I might have to control while giving him away to his rightful family.

We don’t have many pictures together, and only I can change that. He is not a human, so he can’t really express our time together to anyone. He will definitely move out, and I think him being in my life could be a step for self parenting. I cannot be much glad at the destiny for testing me with this time.

Time has a wonderful way of showing what matters.

Rejected once for seemingly poor paper work, Bhai and Bhabhi’s Canadian visa got rejected for the second time today for the now seemingly absurd ‘inadequate funds in bank account’ reason has left an atmosphere of silence at home and I hate it. I hate it because when this silence erupts, it's scary. It’s tough to sense talk Mandeep into seeing the simple pleasures of life without much boasting, but I hope he understands the value of time and move on to people who matter and not get himself more entangled into futile pondering and brooding. What has happened has happened. Time and money wasted should not be chased or cared for, instead what matters is to utilize the now time to create money that will be more valued in use.

Talking about the evident, I must give my final word to the Networking Entrepreneurship work suggestion by Pravin Sir as more than keeping him hanging, I am making myself more uncomfortable by not withdrawing from every moment living with pretence, well knowing that I am stretching a temporary feeling into a wasteful permanent one.

A bizarre sensation pervades a relationship of pretense. No truth seems true. A simple morning's greeting and response appear loaded with innuendo and fraught with implications. Each nicety becomes more sterile and each withdrawal more permanent.