Past Continuous

Never make a decision when you are angry, never make a promise when you are happy.

If I have to dig deepest into my recent past, to know that exact moment when I decided to call it quits at work and go on a leave, I will find nothing. Because life was, is and will never be just about one moment – no matter the intensity. Sometimes the biggest tragedy strikes but we get so involved in the moments that follow, that we never get the time to ponder about it. And then there are times when a small thing induce biggest depression in me, all because I could indulge the incident by giving it an idle mind to brood over.

I called quits as multiple moments and incidents led me to do so – moments that were personal, professional and even private – moments that were both selfless and selfish – moments that were either full of ego and over/ or overconfidence – moments that brought out my naïve side or wisdom beyond my years. But the main thing remains that it has happened and will always be part of me.

I made a decision of not continuing with the job again, or take up similar job with more money because I was finally happy with my decision – scared but happy. 

I made a promise to myself to simplify my life of all the complexities I created out of anger, confusion and/ or self-victimisation – exhausted but not giving up.

I may not know a Story about True Love but I do know a True Story about Love.

Ralli kind of stumped me during our phone conversation when he asked me if I was still on talking terms with Tanmay. This was when I told him Tanmay messaged me a link of a movie, The 10 year Plan, to watch.

In the conversation which ensued theron, I realized I am finally comfortable in staying on talking terms with everyone I had ever had or was about to have anything intimate, especially love. From almost daily messaging and talks with Akshay, to random talks with Tanmay to once in awhile getting some message from Aniket, like today (what were the chances, huh?), I am getting better at being myself. I believe this because every day nowadays I am getting to know myself.

If a man does not embrace his past, he has no future.

From not-regretting my past by accepting it, I am slowly but steadily moving to embracing everything about me. I can actually feel everything is getting better – personally, professionally and privately. (smiles). #DontStopBelieveing