Remember the 'Totem' from the Christopher Nolan's masterpiece Inception? The movie told us that a Totem is an object that is used to test if oneself is in one's own reality (dream or non-dream) and not in another person's dream. However what the movie, which is undeniably one of my all time Top-5 films, did not really tells is how this Totem can actually be of immense importance to our every day life.
Going through the preset phase of my life, the phase of undeniable self-search war inside me, I just realized how Nolan's 'Totem' is something more than the brilliant script of his. It can so very well be the metaphor for our life. Something that can be used to test if we are living the reality that we should be, that is meant for us or we are just (unknowingly) sheepishly living the perception of ourselves which is expected of us who may wish the best for us always but simply don't know what really goes inside our mind and heart.
I don't want to sound philosophical but then again anything and everything about life will always be so, even when it's about the philosophy of being practical in life. To protect its integrity only a totem's owner should ever handle it, so that the owner is able to tell whether or not they are in someone else's dream. Similarly, the totem of our real life, i.e. our instincts, should be handled by its owner individual only. Life is not about good or bad, it isn't also about black or white, it is not about habits too; genetics can only affect our physical attributes but what we think, what we perceive and what we believe is entirely dependent on the life only we as individual live. Life will always be grey. This grey is a normal thing. No matter the motivational thoughts we read, we only do what our impulses tells us, how our instincts allows us to act.
When we were little kid we would just say the craziest of things. It never mattered to us why we tasted mud or followed butterflies or even tried to catch the laser-light beam. When it rained, the first thing that mattered to us was to have our hands stretched in front and catch the rain drops, and not to save our clothes or bag from being wet. The infectious jump in the water puddle was more exciting than having our clothes squeaky clean. Playing with the powdered duster in class and then cleaning the very hand on a friend's blazer by giving him a clever pat on the back. Running for the bus on the ring of last bell to catch that very privileged, very cool second last seat next to back-door. Or even the chase to have the swing to yourself in the games period, something which caused me my denture problem but the thought of having got the swing that time is still priceless childhood memory. Those were instincts that speak the matters of heart and happiness.
As we grow up, these very instincts cease to getting weak for importance to be given. Our decisions and questions take a beat from what we want/need to do to what is 'perceived' to be done as per the norms. The sad part is that the norms will always be static as there will never be many people who bend the rule. And even if there are such people, it will always be 'perceived' those are exceptions and one needs to see the bigger picture instead. However we forget that every norm was actually made when one person did something exceptional and others followed it.
I don't want to sound philosophical but then again anything and everything about life will always be so, even when it's about the philosophy of being practical in life. To protect its integrity only a totem's owner should ever handle it, so that the owner is able to tell whether or not they are in someone else's dream. Similarly, the totem of our real life, i.e. our instincts, should be handled by its owner individual only. Life is not about good or bad, it isn't also about black or white, it is not about habits too; genetics can only affect our physical attributes but what we think, what we perceive and what we believe is entirely dependent on the life only we as individual live. Life will always be grey. This grey is a normal thing. No matter the motivational thoughts we read, we only do what our impulses tells us, how our instincts allows us to act.
When we were little kid we would just say the craziest of things. It never mattered to us why we tasted mud or followed butterflies or even tried to catch the laser-light beam. When it rained, the first thing that mattered to us was to have our hands stretched in front and catch the rain drops, and not to save our clothes or bag from being wet. The infectious jump in the water puddle was more exciting than having our clothes squeaky clean. Playing with the powdered duster in class and then cleaning the very hand on a friend's blazer by giving him a clever pat on the back. Running for the bus on the ring of last bell to catch that very privileged, very cool second last seat next to back-door. Or even the chase to have the swing to yourself in the games period, something which caused me my denture problem but the thought of having got the swing that time is still priceless childhood memory. Those were instincts that speak the matters of heart and happiness.
As we grow up, these very instincts cease to getting weak for importance to be given. Our decisions and questions take a beat from what we want/need to do to what is 'perceived' to be done as per the norms. The sad part is that the norms will always be static as there will never be many people who bend the rule. And even if there are such people, it will always be 'perceived' those are exceptions and one needs to see the bigger picture instead. However we forget that every norm was actually made when one person did something exceptional and others followed it.
It has never been easy for me to understand my own instincts, one reason because of the lack of documenting of my own activities. It surprises me time-and-again how every time I try to write something about my life (read, philosophical), I invariably get to revisit a memory from past which never occurred to my clear memory. This is what is instinctive. Our instincts never change, it is just that we loose our focus and belief in them because of the concentration on the 'perceived' part, because of the fear of failure we develop - the fear of being falling behind to the ones we have grown up. I know I do fear the same.
We all dream a future for us, it starts always with the instinctive but mostly takes the perceived route because of our fears. However we forget that we do dream that future to make it a reality. It depends on our perseverance whether we actually achieve that instinctive reality we dreamt in first place or fall behind because of our fears to accept the safe path. This is exactly like the concept of totem which feels correct in owner's own dream only. All we need to determine is which is that ordinary object that we can in some way modify to affect its balance, weight or feel to make it work as a totem in our lives.
We all dream a future for us, it starts always with the instinctive but mostly takes the perceived route because of our fears. However we forget that we do dream that future to make it a reality. It depends on our perseverance whether we actually achieve that instinctive reality we dreamt in first place or fall behind because of our fears to accept the safe path. This is exactly like the concept of totem which feels correct in owner's own dream only. All we need to determine is which is that ordinary object that we can in some way modify to affect its balance, weight or feel to make it work as a totem in our lives.
I, for one, have finally understood that my writing is my totem. However it is still in the process of attaining that right balance/weight/feel; something that will depend on how much confidently accepting I am of my true self, something that I am working on each and every day with regular bruises and fears. Losing my instincts is a fear too. Thankfully the courage in me is more that this particular fear. *ameen*
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