its hard to describe oneself..
either one gets too diplomatic or humble or a loudmouth..
its the paradox of our complicated lives..
the world we live in and the people we meet..
i am no extraordinary person in this world..
yet i do think that my life is one so..
maybe because i think i have lived my own life only.
i don't know how the future will be for me..
maybe i can shape it into my own desires, whims and fancies..
or maybe the future will shape how i perceive the changes that are yet to happen in me, my life and my surrounding..
the world i live in and the people i interact with have taught me a lot about myself..
or maybe not..
some 19 years that i have lived..
some million people i might have met..
some friends i never noticed..
some enemies i took friends for..
some truth i was forced to know..
some lies i blatantly said..
some worries that eat me..
some relationships i yearn for..
some time i want just for myself..
some faces i wish i never had put..
and
some boundaries i never ever had crossed.
..life is complicated..
i am what i am..
maybe i can be better..
maybe i can't..
maybe i want to be someone else..
maybe i don't..
maybe i can make no difference to the world i live in..
maybe i can make a lot..
maybe i want to make some difference..
maybe i just don't..
i stand on the beach and gaze the sea..
its so simple.. yet so complicated..
its so romantic.. yet so lonely..
my life is like this only..
questions i am looking answers for..
answers i am looking question with..
some mismatch.. some adulterated..
or maybe it isn't like this..
i just know myself..
or maybe i don't..
i don't want to know anyone else..
or maybe i do..
my life is a mystery with many secrets..
a hedge with countless chambers..
a jigsaw puzzle with only few pieces that i know..
the more i try to solve it..
the more i get confused and lonely..
i don't know how many among all in my world i actually know..
or how many actually know me..
happiness always plays hide and seek with me..
i don't know who is hiding and who is seeking..
but we are old players i a unique relation..
from birth..
from sole..
from heart..
from blood..
from life..
i don't know how many times i have been myself..
maybe very few.. or maybe none..
but that is what nobody likes about me..
but do i have an option..
i don't know..
or do i..
maybe i like that..
maybe i don't..
maybe i want that..
maybe i don't..
want to say some more..
talk my heart this at least time..
this very moment of life..
know myself some more..
know more ABOUT ME..
