Accepting the Unacceptable Virtual Life

It's a glory strange world we live in. The world is apparently getting condensed with the virtual life we are moving in, what with the vast array of gadgets and social networking and correspondences, chats and business meetings being carries out by Skype and Cisco technologies. Life is swift and people don't really have time for matters that don't concern them. They may raise a few points/slogans for the terror victims/political matters but the concern last a fickle moment only in their high-tide-ride life. However... no matter how much we may shout-our-lungs out about not caring what others think of us, we end up deliberately wording our Facebook statuses and posts in a manner that has an expectant in us for a good share of 'likes', 'comments' and the brand new feature of 'share'. Life is reducing to a paradox parody of us being the opposite (mostly extrovert) of ours when behind a computer or an iPad screen or in the new age addictive-world - Mobile/BBM blings.

Internet has moved on from meaning web browsing to mostly Facebook. There was a time I used to log into my desktop with my parent's permission and go on to internet and the first thing I used to check were my e-mails. The inbox used to mostly scream like spam mailbox with tons of forwarded e-mails, but I did read them and in most cases, replied back and/or forwarded too. This followed checking of newspaper portals and news websites. Even though the crisp sound of the freshly delivered morning newspaper was checked out for all the news, the websites were a useful tool to keep one updated with any major news break, especially on global front. Life was diverse then too, but uncomplicated and mostly simple.

Circa present day. I always tend to feel strange when someone from work calls me for some urgent file to be send. This is because I for one have lost count of how many times I have responded to such requests and work commitments with a properly salutatory e-mail in proper language and yet there is no reply of a simple thank you, even without the appreciating 'Hi' and 'Regards' format. And this is not counting the personal e-mails of photo/file share. To top it all, I myself have to specially confirm with a call (read, 'not sms') that did you receive the e-mail (even though its obvious its not a post that will get misplaced in optical fibers) and is the send information/data appropriate. Not to strictly mention the almost absolute cutting in the forwarded e-mails (I still have two-three school friends who randomly sends such e-mails, no matter the frequency).

To think that there was a time when not able to speak to a friend on something that may hurt his/her sentiments or just wanting to talk my affection/feelings out I used to correspond through e-mails. Time flies and how, indeed.

The case of the internet news portals is another flash-point of change in habits. Every news website (print and television, both) has a dedicated Facebook page and every news break or major story gets a post there. If the story is interesting or attention-grabbing, the link to the website may thus be accessed. Unlike the time when i personally used to click of web addresses of websites and browse concertedly through all of its content on home page, it has become cumbersome to do that - doesn't matter if the website is a news portal, movie database or gossip blog. Who has time for this today? Isn't Google there for everything? And if any news/info did not come to my attention, it probably wasn't worth too?

This brings me to the Facebook life we live in. According to the film 'The Social Network', Mark Zuckerberg was asked by a girl to 'Facebook Me' to keep in contact. Life has since then all about 'Facebook Me' and it doesn't seems like it will be changing any sooner or even later.

For the cynics, I am not considering twitter here because even though it has caught up very quickly with that 140 character tweeting of one's mind, I personally believe it is mainly/mostly platform for the celebs and wanna-be celebs to feed their bloated egos with the unbelievable high number of celeb stalkers in this world who will apparently go on murder spree if their favorite (red, God like celeb they worship) is tweet-squashed by the stalkers of the apparent-competitors. Let it be out in the open as to who really has time to keep reading the tweets of more than 100 celebs (an average number people or even celebs follow), forget about replying or re-tweeting it. Don't people have other work? When someone like could not get time, I wonder how bad is everybody doing? God bless everyone.

Coming back to Facebook... I so see myself and the 585 odd friends in my facebook friend list regularly updating their statuses in a manner of language/style that it gets likes and comments to reply back to. Pics when updated, are shared over and over again or tagged from one's own profile to apparently announce on the news feeds of their friend list. I do that with my Profile Picture and am not hypocritical about accepting that I do enjoy the likes and comments. Narcissism, I don't know but indeed it does feel good having the attention, even when it is from those whom you have never met but are in your friend list or just met once and may probably never again. It's like my own 2-minutes of fame.

I recognize that this whole perception can be strictly my own and not shared among any other living person. But looking at the way profile pictures are photo-shopped/picasa-edited with the glows and the hues, the effects and focus de-focus, it's tough to single myself out. Come festival/holiday time and people start uploading pictures with wishes and 'golden' words on them and tag them insanely to prove their worth. I respect the wishes and always reciprocate them in my heart, but it is irritating to be tagged in pics where there is no face of me. And I still am not talking of the tons of photo-tag apps which I have blocked from giving any permission to have me in consideration for those tags.

I share links quite often and do think about writing a good description that will attract others to go through it. Status messages are updated either when I something crackling to announce or plain bored. Facebook is like an addiction of the highest order. I know that there hasn't been any activity in my profile or otherwise that may get me any notification, but still I go and check it many times a day like I might get a Magic Lamp for fulfilling my wishes.

It's actually like accepting the unacceptable virtual life. We have less phone conversation and more of online and offline chats, birthday wishes pour onto your wall like the whole world is rejoicing your birth and media is a sycophant who is not recognizing how much birthday spells smiles on the faces of people, who apparently can now write birthday wishes on the wall without even going to the profile of that person - all thanks to Facebook.

To make matter more colorful we have the Facebook pages where it's a status symbol to have huge numbers of likes and admirers, doesn't matter these admirers are people we don't even know and 99.99% of these random page owners won't even know them ever unless they hit the jackpot of Fame Game. I myself made a page for my feelings about my college life, watched it grow in acceptance by leaps and bounds, made new 'virtual' friends and contacts, added new admins to manage it with more varied thoughts and ending in having fights with my real life friend(s) for the apparent reason of who rules the roost. Nothing is same now but I an thankful it all happened during this period of self-exploration that I am in right now. It really made me more accepting to my real self. Unless we accept who we really are, we can never grow and improve ourselves for a better future.

Why is there this constant need for acceptance? Are we so gullible that we will accept when someone accepts us, but completely overthrow our own belief in our abilities and personality. This has indeed plagued me for the longest period of my life and still does, though I am blessed to 'accept' that I am growing out of it. I know who I am and I value everything, even the negative ones. My positives ain't that shallow to fall into the negativity trap. However (no 'but') I also recognize that time is precious and this exactly describes by present decision to shut from my theater work and concentrate on the one thing I will always have with me in every single second I breathe - ME.

As I write the last words for today, I want to share a very random picture I came around on a Facebook page today only which unassumingly describes this thought-for-a-blog by me.

Shocking to find it, but then again - isn't it FACEBOOK.

Herd of Butterflies

Sometimes, and thank God that it's sometimes, that I wonder is it plain coincidence or sheer bad luck that every time something butterflies-in-my-stomach like thing is about to happen in my life I get badly sick. Yes... I am in pain like never before. It's an altogether new kind of pain - something my awesome body never fails in surprising me. *grr*

All of Monday, 21st November, and I am watching the repeat telecast of the amazing American Music Awards 2011 at night. Dad and Mom were out for a really wealthy friend's son's engagement ceremony and my big brother out to Gym.

[Tring Tring: *Gym* bell.. New Post for you Baby. lol]

I shut off all the lights, play the award show on full volume on the new big LED TV, and with every performance I sing and dance the time away. I truly am a Pop/Rock/R'n'B fan, that is evident even in my dancing style. Result is that half way into the show, my left arm starts to pain with my crazy dance movements. And what do Mr Bhavdeep Singh Chadha do?? He simply ignores!

Next morning I wake up to severe pain, apply pain relief balm and get to my laptop. It's my typing day, as I type the hard copies of Asmita songs to keep a good record of my work. Along side its the regular Chess that I am addicted to on my laptop, plus the never failing Facebook. Result, I don't give my arms the much needed rest. And thus goes the starting of my Body Pain drama.

But hey... did I mention what is it that I am expecting this time. Noooooo! ;-)

So there's this person I have been chatting for few months now. Sweet and Nice its been with this special someone but we have never met. It's a long distance 'contact' for Delhi and Bangalore. Not something I endorse point-blank but at least its pleasant to talk to someone, though yes I am a big time Flirt and almost daily flirting with someone in my Facebook friend list - especially with those I have not meant. I like playing the Charmer. He He.. :D Hmm.. should I be saying "Damn Facebook" or  "Damn Free SMSs". I don't knowwwwwwww.. \o-o/ :P

Now the 24th November event diary states that Bangalorean's friend is going to his hometown Jammu via a change of train in saaddi Dilli, which sets up a date with this guy who apparently will assess me for the Bangalorean. Now this one's going to be a first ever for me.. total hindi filmish.. cheesy yet exciting.. unexpected, in some way unaccepting, on a short-notice for the 'planned' me but surprisingly enticing for the crazy me. To sum it up, I am having Butterflies in my stomach.. Herd of Butterflies..!!

Let me come clear of my conscience.

• Do I like this Bangalorean - Yes.. It's been pretty cool, though in recent days Bangalorean seems obsessive needy.
• Am I in Love - No.. Have been hardcore practical in life now to even fall for something virtual. But then again strange are the ways of Love, especially after how I had my last relationship.
• Do I Respect Bangalorean - Definitely. Of all the reasons I am meeting this friend is to come clean of who I really am. I just hope to chose the right words for my indescribable thoughts.
• Do I wish anything but the best for Bangalorean - In all dignity, Yes!

Then what am I really having the Butterflies for ??
It's very simple, I think. My human need to be liked, at least in physical appearance. Plus, more than anything in consideration, I would any day be willing to be at most given respect for who I am - all things good and bad in included.

But.. But.. But..

In addition to the arm pain, I am back to square one of sneezing. Just hate this more than anything about me. The very reason I want to be a Gym addict. [Tring Tring] The sudden cold ('sudden'... really ??!!) is all because of talking on phone in Balcony amidst the lovely companionship of evening winds. Plus, I think I felt mouth ulcers in evening to my more horror.

*sniff* *sinff* :-( *uainn* :-( *sniff* *sniff*

Time for decision making. (really Bhavdeep?) Trying on warm clothing for my Superman-ish life and Bye-Bye-Lappy [Laptop accessed at present after this decision. So innocently blogging about my Paththar-ki-lakeer plans. duh]. And for the baggy eyes.. stay away from T.V. and Movies. Reading and Eating.. Try it Baby!! *hmm..*

It's time to welcome the Prospective Best Man for the dreamy eyed me and give the coincidence a big run of its worth with my true self, which will be my right and good self combined. Himmat-e-marda toh madad-e-khuda. There is no expectation, I hope even subconsciously too. The Herd of Butterflies won't be given any more stampede opportunities in my puny life.

B.T.W, I was told that I have been send a gift. I usually hate gifts, because seldom do people surprise the unpredictable me with hearty stuffs. If I want something, I will ask the one to gift me..family, friend or partner. Moreover I am more into small sand personal stuffs, rather big exploits. I hate to mention that this gift is sadly shouting a return back, especially as it is pre-informed now. I am not being stone hearted, it's just who I am. The very reason why I am not naming the Bangalorean is my concern only. Blog will stay forever, will this 'relationship' too..??

*hmm*

More than anything right now, on par with respect, I just want 'No Regrets' ever.
Don't want to hate Butterflies for the color they bring in life.

My Humanity, My True-self

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a.k.a OCD is what my life can been be best summarized into. It is nothing that I ever imagined I could have, it nothing I would ever even wish anyone to ever have. It's nothing short of the biggest challenge anyone can ever have in his/her life. A curse, to say at most.

I first got to know about this through the Fox's TV show 'Glee' where the School Councillor Emma Pillsbury get to know about her OCD traits by a Psychologist. It got me into thinking why it sounds so familiar, not knowing that I will be relating it with myself soon.

Okay I agree that most of these American TV shows I watch are enticing enough to have a shared life with, but this is something serious. All in 6th standard and being bogged down by an overheard conversation by the mother of my next door girlfriend to not to be too personal with me took my life to where it stands now. Seems so weird to think that one single conversation, or should I actually say - one single 'statement' by a neighbor actually changed my entire life, unknowingly. And I used to think there were other instances in my middle school life which changed my life. To mention a few - my 5th grade starry eyed boyhood or the 7th grader's first ever physical encounter.

Teenage is the most crucial time of one's life. It determines the personality one is going to embody as a habit for each day of his/her life. And so did happened with me. On being bogged down or bullied, one goes either side of life's personality - it's either rebelliousness or shelled individuality. I for one embodies the latter.

To think now why I moved into the particular category, I can understand that I was always the responsible child in my family. The one who studies well, who behaved well and who was considered more sensible. So... I guess the same respect, unknowingly, took me into a making a sub-conscience decision to take the entire decision taking and solving of the matter in my own hand. Unfortunately... I was in-adept of even thinking the consequence of same. And it is present day today that I am, kind-off, paying for it.

The dreamy eyed boy lived a life in an empty room where built dream castles with open eyes, enjoyed the company of his dictionary and anything encyclopedia to know the world and as time passed, in internet cafés on his saved/created pocket money and on the desktop in home. Everything became a habit with time and these habits made it an OCD syndrome for the 23 year old me. A guy who is quite efficient in expressing, is now scared of expressing it to even the closest ones and has become too shallow to see beyond his own self to appreciate what others do.

Blogging it publicly all down seem a careless decision, but I have to get over my own insecurities. And with the kind of life I want, read a Public figure, I must have the confidence to accept it all with dignity. Moreover, the blog will always be representative of my thoughts at this particular time of my life.

I am a simple guy at heart with dreams in life which I want to make come true. I want my family to be proud of everything about me. I may enjoy a fancy party or dinner or a disc but the truth is big expensive gifts and vacations don't really impress me. It is the small things that matter, a walk in the park, a visit to each other's home and maybe watching a simple movie together or even just sitting by each other in a room, knowing that if something comes in my mind I can share it with the person with me. And its not a girlfriend/boyfriend I am talking about... just a friend, someone with whom I don't have to lie anything about myself. Maybe just like Emma has Will Schuester. ;)

*smiling*

However...there is no person like Will in my life. So I have to stand by the age old adage, "The Lord only gives you as much as you can handle." (I wish I could actually meet him in person and confront him on what does he really think of the poor innocent little me.)

*still-smiling*

Coming back to the topic... I hate having sleepless nights because of this reason. I want to sleep good and feel good. Maybe reading Gurbani like I did in my childhood not that bad for a medication. Also, it's time to be more physically active. Does it ring bells for *Gym*... :P

To quote a famous saying in my own words,

"Habits don't happen unless they are performed regularly and every good habit will always be difficult in the beginning."

I value this blog, because it is again a Habit of writing that I want to inculcate in my personality among many other good stuffs. So I know how my this blog post values for me, no matter how may hits I may get, which strangely matters also to me - in very cheesiest and kiddish way.

As I publish this post to have a sound sleep, let me end by something my mother always told me to repeat whenever I felt scared.

"Aukhi ghadi na dekhan deyi apna birad sambhale 

Haath de raakhe apne ko saas saas pratpale 

Prabh seyo laag reho mera cheet aad ant prabh sada sahaai 

Dhan hamara meet rahao 

Mann bilaas bhae sahib ke acharaj dekh vadaai 

Har simar simar anand kar nanak prabh pooran paij rakhaai"

'Rockstar': Movie Review

How would you describe a movie watching experience when during the course of the film your mind starts to think about comparing it with probably the worst movie you have ever watched in your lifetime? Imtiaz Ali's latest endeavor 'Rockstar' had the very same effect on my thought processing, though to give the film its due - at least it does have some good merits to not top my worst film list.

Rockstar apparently presents the story of Delhi's St. Stephan college boy, played by Ranbir Kapoor, who loves music and would do anything to have the soul in his writing that talent scouting people and the regular college crowd could relate to. He is advised by the college's cafeteria owner, someone who is apparently the only one who understands his dreams, that he can't write good unless he falls in true love, something that gives pain and problem like nothing else in this world. He then goes for this girl Heer, played by Nargis Fakhri, in his own college as his friends call his Tota aka Hot. From initial rejections, the two embark on doing crazy stuffs which leads to the supposed crux of the film.

The basic problem with 'Rockstar' lies with its incoherent script. There is just about nothing in it, making it like a regressive episodic thought-processing without any explanation. The characters are shallow, and have change of emotions and heart after every few minutes. Janardhan a.k.a. Jordan leaving his passionate chase for Platinum records to bring his music album to chase Love that will bring pain in his music, even when the records label itself is after him. Also Heer who first is irritated by Jordan's idiotic loves proposal has a sudden change of heart and is hanging out with him doing crazy stuffs. Characters are brought in at one moment and bumped off like piece of cardboards in another and again brought into later from almost nowhere. Case in point Heer's husband, her family, Jordan's family. Even the ridiculously absurd sequence in Prague where a super Rockstar like Jordan is being mugged on streets by goons who don't know him and the next moment he escapes them to his own concert in the city's Colloseum like place to millions of city people and that too in Hindi.

Like I said, there is nothing about Music in this film. The writers apparently wanted to write a doomed love story with music aspirations of the lead as a sub-story, but clearly did not know how to start or to end. What comes across on screen in a confusing and irritating half-hazard sequencing of a thought for story, which apparently was never bound and had additions and subtractions to it on the sets during the film shoot. The events in the films comes across as episodes and just when you think the film is over, there is another episode up on play without any reason of common sense.

Imtiaz Ali has been known for his writing skills with his previous films, but clearly he is overwhelmingly overconfident from his adulation. The writing is pretentious and carried out with the only thought of making it something that will make the audience cry like they have never did. Ranbir displays a great character graph in his body language, but his dialogue delivery is either straight lift of his work in Wake Up Sid or irritatingly bad version of Koi Mil Gaya's Rohit Mehra's mentally challenged person. Nargis is as manly as an actress can ever be, with a dialogue delivery of a dreamy but dull spoilt daughter of a rich dad. No emotional connect is there for a character which Imtiaz Ali seemingly wanted to be just like the lovable Geet from his own 'Jab We Met', but fails badly with his own writing and his choice of Nargis.

For a movie which was promoted as a film based on Music, it's all noise for the songs as well as the background score. A.R.Rahman comes up with his weakest compositions ever, which are nothing new in instrumentation and relies heavily on screeching and repetitive tunes. He does indeed comes with Kun Fayakun which brought tears in my eyes during it play in the film, not for the visuals along but for the beautiful words from Holy Quran. But then again, a Quawali by Rahman has always been great, so nothing new to write. Maybe to an extent the song Naadan Parindey is good, but by the time it is played in end, one is so exhausted with the headache from the film that one just wants to leave. Once again, Rahman fails from being burdened with carrying the film on his shoulder when there is no script in first place, forget about a musical story that was promoted in his name.

The editor(s) of the film must be celebrated for at least trying to make sense from the crap the director handed them to work on. I am sure the screenplay of the film, which is not experimental but screenplay of convenience, was come up with on the editing table itself. At least the film moves at fast pace, except for the last 20 something minutes, where the film drag like hell and mostly substituted with scenes played before also. As for the costumes for Jordan, they are worse than my used Night clothes and no Rockstar wears such clothes which will have even the poor slum dwellers to cheer.

If the meaning of becoming a Rockstar is to must have a doomed true-love story, then sorry to say the writers know nothing about the music world. Music by itself is true love for the one who practice it. Music aspirations, just like Love, can never be forced. And if Luck or Destiny is what the makers wanted to reason with, then they should have gone for an animated story of cartoon characters where they could do anything with Luck and Destiny.

The movie is a complete failure for the art of cinema and I can not think of giving it more than 1/2 stars out of 5, that too being generous for not giving me migraine attack.

'In Time': Movie Review

Remember waking up to an amazing dream where you did surreal escapades. You don't really know how you got in the situation you are in, something Christopher Nolan's Inception taught us really well, and when you feel like something is missing when the adventure ends. Watching Andrew Niccol's 'In Time' is exactly the similar experience, albeit in year 2161.

The basic premise of the film is explained in a beginning narration by our lead actor that all humans have been genetically modified to stop againg at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year. A person could practically live forever if he earns time. Time is therefore now the currency everything is dealt in, and every service is also paid in Time. One dies as the time stops. So you have goons who kill others for their time, and people exploit each other while they barter food and travel rides.

Will Salas, played by Justin Timberlake, is a 28 year old factory worker living with his 50 year old single mother in the ghettos of Dayton. Each social class lives in different time zone, with the rich living in New Greenwich. In a turn of events a 105 year old stranger with more than a century in his clock reveals to will the inequality in the time system and the way to reach New Greenwich. He secretly gives his entire time to Will and dies before he could be saved. Charged with murder by stealing time and with abundant time in hand, Will decides to go for revenge for the inequality. At New Greenwich, he meets 27 year old Sylvia Weis, played by Amanda Seyfried, daughter of the richest man around. There is instant attraction followed by abduction to save his life. Now back in Dayton, both are left with few hours to live. How they survive their time, while becoming robin-hood to the poor and pain in the ass for the rich Dad and his army of Timekeepers is the story that follows.

The lead characters and their charisma is what keeps the film working for the audience. There are very few surprises but the thrill element of the film's basic premise is surely catching. Justin Timberlake plays the hot poker faced Will to hilt, and Amanda Seyfried does her bit of being the spoiled rich male fantasy who wants to do something fun and stupid in life to live life on the edge. Cinematography is eye-catching and the razor sharp editing of the film is its biggest strength. Had there been a solid story to answer the unanswered questions about the premise, the film could have been an amazing experience. But alas, what one takes away is a fantastic dream which got over before the actual climax.

Enjoy the fun ride while its lasts, but don't expect to take back home an experience. Like a morning dream, it thrills till it lasts and once over the thrills will be lost quite soon, leaving you with questions about the dream.

A generous 2.5 out of 5 rating is the real worth of 'In Time'. Watch it, enjoy it and move on.

'Ra.One': Movie Review

                   

There is a moment during the first chase sequence in the film Ra.One where Kareena's character asks her son Prateek as to how can Ra.One and G.One come out of the virtual world and continue the virtual enmity in real life. To this Prateek tells her to continue driving through this mess, he will tell her later. My biggest grouse with the film stands exactly at this point. Everything is, "watch now, explanation will be done later."; which coincidentally never happens at all. For a film which is full of scientific advancements in present day like never even thought before one would at least expect the logic on which everything science is based on, no matter it being a Hindi film.

Superhero films are meant with logical reason to the super-power, even if it is extra-terrestrial nature. Case in point Koi Mil Gaya and Krish. Present that in even a single minute and everything is acceptable. But Ra.One conveniently leaves that all. There is no explanation as to how a game so advanced that its 'villain' with 0.01% of losing ratio comes out of in real world from virtual world but can be programmed in a jiffy by a 10 year old, not once but twice. And that too when the kid is not at all close to his genius father to learn the tricks of trade from him. The only apparent logic that the film gives is during the opening sequence where an apparently lost Shahana Goswami addresses London press in Hindi that, "its all possible because their company has made it."

Ra.One is ambitious without doubt, has some terrific VFX for an Indian film and is apparently the best 2D to 3D converted film I have watched, Hollywood included. But having a super-star like Shahrukh Khan who has access to best creative talent around the world making the audience accept the advancement of home-grown technology for a shamelessly paper thin story and almost no-direction by Anubhav Sinha is a monstrosity of illogical proportion.

The film turns out to be a spoof movie collage marketed as a superhero movie with scenes inspired from films like Spiderman, Superman, Tron Legacy, Iron Man, Matrix trilogy, X-Men series, Robot and even Mr Bean, 2012 and popular video games all rolled into a 70's style loud background scored film where the Hero and Villain will say their dialogues in slow motion and then the camera do a 10 sec slow pan of the person. SRK overdoes the tamil Shekhar with the racist Aiyo, the vulgar crotch touching acts and the horrendous hairstyle. As G.One he apparently mistakes his My Name is Khan's mentally challenged character as a virtual Robotic Character. At times when I was connecting with G.One's emotions, I used to shake myself from the sudden feeling that this is not MNIK. G.one touching the crotch of Ra.One was the height of vulgarity. Kareena is luminous like never before but her character is too shallow to feel her emotional bond with any event in her love or family life. The son's character is where one connects somewhat but his sudden maturity in a genius wizkid is hard to digest. Arjun Rampal apparently gets role of lifetime to act as mechanic as he is as an actor. His Ra.One is pointless and not once menacing as the game's non-destructive villain is described. The very talented Shahana Goswami is sidelined with sloppy dialogues and poorly written role.

At the end, Ra.One for me succeeds in making me understand the true value of originality and creativity in writing. The film will definitely be a benchmark in technical advancement in India but will sadly remain a flawed film as it has got no foundation of story which is a shame considering what smart writing and effective direction could have done with the no-holds barred losing of purse-strings by Shahrukh Khan.

I will rate it 2.5 on a scale of 5. It is neither here, nor there.

'Dunno Y Na Jaane Kyun': Movie Review

There are films which you watch for pure entertainment and time-pass and there are films you watch for the team behind it. But once in a while comes a film that may have the skeptic in you telling that the film may not work with the sensibility of the paying audience or may just end being an amateur work from untrained new-professionals. But we forget that art is not about training and experience, but more about the passion that drives you to attempt it – no matter the end result. Sanjay Sharma’s ‘Dunno Y Na Jaane Kyun..’ falls in the this last category.

The story is simple. It is about a guy named Ashley D’souza (Yuvraaj Parashar), from an upper-middle class family, married with little daughter. But all is not happy in his family. Everyone is living with some sad past that they can not leave, but still are cheerful in living life king size. The unsatisfied wife (Rituparna Sengupta) is having a closet affair with her brother-in-law, Ashley’s father (Kabir Bedi) left them years ago for spiritualism leaving his mother (Zeenat Aman) working hard and also being involved with her boss to run her home, and Granny (Helen) is a sometimes grumpy, sometime lively lady who still wishes to have her son back. And Ashley himself is living with a closetted truth about his real feelings – of being gay. He meets Aryan (Kapil Sharma) through internet for a Blind-Date fixed on internet chat. Aryan is an aspiring model-actor, part time gigolo and gay. Their first date becomes a starting point of a closet relationship between the two. What happens thereafter in everyone’s life is what forms the entire film. There are few subplots also, the most prominent being the father returning back home. The first half of the film mainly concentrates on establishing the characters, the family, the problems, the dilemmas while the second half focuses on the two affairs (Ash-Aryan and wife-brother-in-law) and the father’s return.

The film, being touted as India’s answer to Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain, is definitely a first in India to talk and show about closet gay orientation without making fun of the community but should not be compared to Ang’s film. It is totally based in Mumbai city and its urban lifestyle where families throw happy parties for friends, but behind closed doors there is lack of satisfaction from almost every family member. The gay-relationship and the skeletons it hides in our society is treated with respect and without any mockery of sleaze. There is earnestness in the film, one feels that the film is not made to gain media publicity but because someone had penned a fair story to share. The production budget is small and it does limits the cinematography and post-production (especially), though the rawness do work good in bringing a real feel to the film.

Kapil and Yuvvraj do have to polish their acting skills but they performed very well for a first time effort. Both does justice to give a graph to their characters and have expressive eyes. Acting is also Reacting, and this is important for every actor to know. Zeenat and Helen perform well according to the script and Kabir Bedi shows he still has enough charisma to make you sit and take notice of him. Rituparna is good at times, while lost at others. Rest all are adequate to strictly okay in their limited screen timing.

Kapil, who has also written the story, screenplay and dialogues for the film does good with his credit but one does feel that it probably was sailing in multiple boats at the same time. The dialogues did tend to go burdening on my senses at times, and I wished it had ‘conversation’ between characters instead. Cinematography by Basheer Ali is okay, nothing much to talk about. The soundtrack by Nikhil, especially Saiyan, Dabi Dabi Khwahishien and the Title song by Lata Mangeshkar, is both impressive and haunting. The background score probably needed to be toned down. Sanjay Sharma has directed a good film that impresses mainly by not making the audience question the right and wrong, and also by a sensitive treatment to a sensitive story. However there is a need for him to polish his editing skills. A tighter editing might have made the film more attractive to the audience of experimental and independent cinema.

Every new experiment requires patience from its audience. The film is a brave and honest attempt by the entire team, one that should be watched without being judgmental as relationship of any kind can never be judged. I came out of the screening impressed with the sincerity in the way it is made, and also with goosebumps giving songs. Do give it a try..