Friday, March 13, 2015

Circle of Life, EUREKA!!

It was like only yesterday when I read about a particular tweet post by actress Priyanka Chopra regarding returning back to her school in Boston, not just as an alumni but chiefly as a speaker at a Global Function.




It indeed was an esteemed honor; one that I am sure every student wishes for silently. 

I have not been to my school since 2010's Alumni Meet in December and it was in November that same year when I last visited by first PG College, BVB, for collection of my Commenwealth Games Cheque, my first paid professional work.

As for my graduation college of MSI, if I am remembering right, it was again in 2010, somewhere in mid, for the collection of my Graduation Degree.

FIVE YEARS.. FIVE LONG YEARS..

Why did this gap really happen? I have not for once forgot my roots, I can vouch on that. I was never the brightest student but I was a good one who despite his many flaws, did at least tried to do good and was always super embarrassed, almost being moved to shame, whenever he felt he is leaving his teachers down.

But the reality is that this gap did come and If I have to be brutally honest to myself in my writing, I was never confident that I have achieved anything to face my teachers. I really dont want to put anyone and any of my life portion down, but probably it was a psychological thing in me that achievement means a written document to proof or may even a huge bank statement to flout. I never had any of them.

Circa 8th March 2015
I was leaving from News Center after my Night Shift and I receive a call from a soft spoken person addressing me as Bhavdeep Sir. I am informed that I am being invited to be a Guest speaker at a BVB Debate on BBC Documentary. The Debate turned out to be a News Program assignment which we used to made as part of out Final Semester Submission and also included another guest, a practicing advocate from High Court and Supreme Court.

That moment of phone call and every moment till the shoot today was probably the biggest and proudest moment for me. In a weird sense, I was feeling like crying in gratitude to all my stars and for having being bestowed with this moment. It may have just been a student group project but I was there for my work, for my profession and that was my EUREKA moment. 

It took me back to Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan after 2010. Meeting Ramesh Sir, Susheel Sir, Daizy Mam, Bhawna Mam, Vishal Sir and Badkar Sir was such a joy. They all welcomed me with such open arms, telling me "Aata Raha Kar". And the students, they made me really special during my entire time. More than anything, in the students I was reminded of my own innocent starting with dreamy eyes. I am so not perfect and still struggling to be a man of words and promise to self (mainly), but Friday the 13th March 2015 will forever be the date I will always look back for my undying inspiration to keep working harder and never bow down to obstacles.

I would also like to add one more moment to this experience. I wish I could share the same with Gouran Lal Ma'm who used to be our Guest Lecturer for English Language. In one of her class, I stammered to share with her how I am not able to understand why I always fail in public speaking. It was then that she answered my question by sharing with me the secret to successful public speaking - all in the most simplest manner any teacher can ever would.

Gouran Mam, asked me a series of question in the class - questions that I should be asking myself

1) Why could I not speak in front of the entire Class? - Because I was not confident
2) Why were you not confident? - Because I was feeling I will speak something wrong or stammer and sweat or even speak something wrong.
3) Why would that happen?  - I don't know. I just feel it so.
4) Did you not prepare well? - I don't know.
5) If you prepare well, do your research well, make proper notes, you will never say the wrong thing, you will never feel under confident, never ever stammer or sweat.

I guess we all know about it; I just needed to hear it from someone who really wanted to help me. Gouran Ma'm turned out to be the same.

Today when I was speaking during the Debate, I had so much to speak, many inside things to share and even by the end of the Deate, I felt there were so many things still left unsaid.

I wish I could share this changed me with Gouran Ma'm; maybe someday I will. Not just with her, but with all my teachers of life. Circle of Life, every then time, many times.

Memoir of a Farewell

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