Herd of Butterflies

Sometimes, and thank God that it's sometimes, that I wonder is it plain coincidence or sheer bad luck that every time something butterflies-in-my-stomach like thing is about to happen in my life I get badly sick. Yes... I am in pain like never before. It's an altogether new kind of pain - something my awesome body never fails in surprising me. *grr*

All of Monday, 21st November, and I am watching the repeat telecast of the amazing American Music Awards 2011 at night. Dad and Mom were out for a really wealthy friend's son's engagement ceremony and my big brother out to Gym.

[Tring Tring: *Gym* bell.. New Post for you Baby. lol]

I shut off all the lights, play the award show on full volume on the new big LED TV, and with every performance I sing and dance the time away. I truly am a Pop/Rock/R'n'B fan, that is evident even in my dancing style. Result is that half way into the show, my left arm starts to pain with my crazy dance movements. And what do Mr Bhavdeep Singh Chadha do?? He simply ignores!

Next morning I wake up to severe pain, apply pain relief balm and get to my laptop. It's my typing day, as I type the hard copies of Asmita songs to keep a good record of my work. Along side its the regular Chess that I am addicted to on my laptop, plus the never failing Facebook. Result, I don't give my arms the much needed rest. And thus goes the starting of my Body Pain drama.

But hey... did I mention what is it that I am expecting this time. Noooooo! ;-)

So there's this person I have been chatting for few months now. Sweet and Nice its been with this special someone but we have never met. It's a long distance 'contact' for Delhi and Bangalore. Not something I endorse point-blank but at least its pleasant to talk to someone, though yes I am a big time Flirt and almost daily flirting with someone in my Facebook friend list - especially with those I have not meant. I like playing the Charmer. He He.. :D Hmm.. should I be saying "Damn Facebook" or  "Damn Free SMSs". I don't knowwwwwwww.. \o-o/ :P

Now the 24th November event diary states that Bangalorean's friend is going to his hometown Jammu via a change of train in saaddi Dilli, which sets up a date with this guy who apparently will assess me for the Bangalorean. Now this one's going to be a first ever for me.. total hindi filmish.. cheesy yet exciting.. unexpected, in some way unaccepting, on a short-notice for the 'planned' me but surprisingly enticing for the crazy me. To sum it up, I am having Butterflies in my stomach.. Herd of Butterflies..!!

Let me come clear of my conscience.

• Do I like this Bangalorean - Yes.. It's been pretty cool, though in recent days Bangalorean seems obsessive needy.
• Am I in Love - No.. Have been hardcore practical in life now to even fall for something virtual. But then again strange are the ways of Love, especially after how I had my last relationship.
• Do I Respect Bangalorean - Definitely. Of all the reasons I am meeting this friend is to come clean of who I really am. I just hope to chose the right words for my indescribable thoughts.
• Do I wish anything but the best for Bangalorean - In all dignity, Yes!

Then what am I really having the Butterflies for ??
It's very simple, I think. My human need to be liked, at least in physical appearance. Plus, more than anything in consideration, I would any day be willing to be at most given respect for who I am - all things good and bad in included.

But.. But.. But..

In addition to the arm pain, I am back to square one of sneezing. Just hate this more than anything about me. The very reason I want to be a Gym addict. [Tring Tring] The sudden cold ('sudden'... really ??!!) is all because of talking on phone in Balcony amidst the lovely companionship of evening winds. Plus, I think I felt mouth ulcers in evening to my more horror.

*sniff* *sinff* :-( *uainn* :-( *sniff* *sniff*

Time for decision making. (really Bhavdeep?) Trying on warm clothing for my Superman-ish life and Bye-Bye-Lappy [Laptop accessed at present after this decision. So innocently blogging about my Paththar-ki-lakeer plans. duh]. And for the baggy eyes.. stay away from T.V. and Movies. Reading and Eating.. Try it Baby!! *hmm..*

It's time to welcome the Prospective Best Man for the dreamy eyed me and give the coincidence a big run of its worth with my true self, which will be my right and good self combined. Himmat-e-marda toh madad-e-khuda. There is no expectation, I hope even subconsciously too. The Herd of Butterflies won't be given any more stampede opportunities in my puny life.

B.T.W, I was told that I have been send a gift. I usually hate gifts, because seldom do people surprise the unpredictable me with hearty stuffs. If I want something, I will ask the one to gift me..family, friend or partner. Moreover I am more into small sand personal stuffs, rather big exploits. I hate to mention that this gift is sadly shouting a return back, especially as it is pre-informed now. I am not being stone hearted, it's just who I am. The very reason why I am not naming the Bangalorean is my concern only. Blog will stay forever, will this 'relationship' too..??

*hmm*

More than anything right now, on par with respect, I just want 'No Regrets' ever.
Don't want to hate Butterflies for the color they bring in life.

My Humanity, My True-self

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a.k.a OCD is what my life can been be best summarized into. It is nothing that I ever imagined I could have, it nothing I would ever even wish anyone to ever have. It's nothing short of the biggest challenge anyone can ever have in his/her life. A curse, to say at most.

I first got to know about this through the Fox's TV show 'Glee' where the School Councillor Emma Pillsbury get to know about her OCD traits by a Psychologist. It got me into thinking why it sounds so familiar, not knowing that I will be relating it with myself soon.

Okay I agree that most of these American TV shows I watch are enticing enough to have a shared life with, but this is something serious. All in 6th standard and being bogged down by an overheard conversation by the mother of my next door girlfriend to not to be too personal with me took my life to where it stands now. Seems so weird to think that one single conversation, or should I actually say - one single 'statement' by a neighbor actually changed my entire life, unknowingly. And I used to think there were other instances in my middle school life which changed my life. To mention a few - my 5th grade starry eyed boyhood or the 7th grader's first ever physical encounter.

Teenage is the most crucial time of one's life. It determines the personality one is going to embody as a habit for each day of his/her life. And so did happened with me. On being bogged down or bullied, one goes either side of life's personality - it's either rebelliousness or shelled individuality. I for one embodies the latter.

To think now why I moved into the particular category, I can understand that I was always the responsible child in my family. The one who studies well, who behaved well and who was considered more sensible. So... I guess the same respect, unknowingly, took me into a making a sub-conscience decision to take the entire decision taking and solving of the matter in my own hand. Unfortunately... I was in-adept of even thinking the consequence of same. And it is present day today that I am, kind-off, paying for it.

The dreamy eyed boy lived a life in an empty room where built dream castles with open eyes, enjoyed the company of his dictionary and anything encyclopedia to know the world and as time passed, in internet cafés on his saved/created pocket money and on the desktop in home. Everything became a habit with time and these habits made it an OCD syndrome for the 23 year old me. A guy who is quite efficient in expressing, is now scared of expressing it to even the closest ones and has become too shallow to see beyond his own self to appreciate what others do.

Blogging it publicly all down seem a careless decision, but I have to get over my own insecurities. And with the kind of life I want, read a Public figure, I must have the confidence to accept it all with dignity. Moreover, the blog will always be representative of my thoughts at this particular time of my life.

I am a simple guy at heart with dreams in life which I want to make come true. I want my family to be proud of everything about me. I may enjoy a fancy party or dinner or a disc but the truth is big expensive gifts and vacations don't really impress me. It is the small things that matter, a walk in the park, a visit to each other's home and maybe watching a simple movie together or even just sitting by each other in a room, knowing that if something comes in my mind I can share it with the person with me. And its not a girlfriend/boyfriend I am talking about... just a friend, someone with whom I don't have to lie anything about myself. Maybe just like Emma has Will Schuester. ;)

*smiling*

However...there is no person like Will in my life. So I have to stand by the age old adage, "The Lord only gives you as much as you can handle." (I wish I could actually meet him in person and confront him on what does he really think of the poor innocent little me.)

*still-smiling*

Coming back to the topic... I hate having sleepless nights because of this reason. I want to sleep good and feel good. Maybe reading Gurbani like I did in my childhood not that bad for a medication. Also, it's time to be more physically active. Does it ring bells for *Gym*... :P

To quote a famous saying in my own words,

"Habits don't happen unless they are performed regularly and every good habit will always be difficult in the beginning."

I value this blog, because it is again a Habit of writing that I want to inculcate in my personality among many other good stuffs. So I know how my this blog post values for me, no matter how may hits I may get, which strangely matters also to me - in very cheesiest and kiddish way.

As I publish this post to have a sound sleep, let me end by something my mother always told me to repeat whenever I felt scared.

"Aukhi ghadi na dekhan deyi apna birad sambhale 

Haath de raakhe apne ko saas saas pratpale 

Prabh seyo laag reho mera cheet aad ant prabh sada sahaai 

Dhan hamara meet rahao 

Mann bilaas bhae sahib ke acharaj dekh vadaai 

Har simar simar anand kar nanak prabh pooran paij rakhaai"

'Rockstar': Movie Review

How would you describe a movie watching experience when during the course of the film your mind starts to think about comparing it with probably the worst movie you have ever watched in your lifetime? Imtiaz Ali's latest endeavor 'Rockstar' had the very same effect on my thought processing, though to give the film its due - at least it does have some good merits to not top my worst film list.

Rockstar apparently presents the story of Delhi's St. Stephan college boy, played by Ranbir Kapoor, who loves music and would do anything to have the soul in his writing that talent scouting people and the regular college crowd could relate to. He is advised by the college's cafeteria owner, someone who is apparently the only one who understands his dreams, that he can't write good unless he falls in true love, something that gives pain and problem like nothing else in this world. He then goes for this girl Heer, played by Nargis Fakhri, in his own college as his friends call his Tota aka Hot. From initial rejections, the two embark on doing crazy stuffs which leads to the supposed crux of the film.

The basic problem with 'Rockstar' lies with its incoherent script. There is just about nothing in it, making it like a regressive episodic thought-processing without any explanation. The characters are shallow, and have change of emotions and heart after every few minutes. Janardhan a.k.a. Jordan leaving his passionate chase for Platinum records to bring his music album to chase Love that will bring pain in his music, even when the records label itself is after him. Also Heer who first is irritated by Jordan's idiotic loves proposal has a sudden change of heart and is hanging out with him doing crazy stuffs. Characters are brought in at one moment and bumped off like piece of cardboards in another and again brought into later from almost nowhere. Case in point Heer's husband, her family, Jordan's family. Even the ridiculously absurd sequence in Prague where a super Rockstar like Jordan is being mugged on streets by goons who don't know him and the next moment he escapes them to his own concert in the city's Colloseum like place to millions of city people and that too in Hindi.

Like I said, there is nothing about Music in this film. The writers apparently wanted to write a doomed love story with music aspirations of the lead as a sub-story, but clearly did not know how to start or to end. What comes across on screen in a confusing and irritating half-hazard sequencing of a thought for story, which apparently was never bound and had additions and subtractions to it on the sets during the film shoot. The events in the films comes across as episodes and just when you think the film is over, there is another episode up on play without any reason of common sense.

Imtiaz Ali has been known for his writing skills with his previous films, but clearly he is overwhelmingly overconfident from his adulation. The writing is pretentious and carried out with the only thought of making it something that will make the audience cry like they have never did. Ranbir displays a great character graph in his body language, but his dialogue delivery is either straight lift of his work in Wake Up Sid or irritatingly bad version of Koi Mil Gaya's Rohit Mehra's mentally challenged person. Nargis is as manly as an actress can ever be, with a dialogue delivery of a dreamy but dull spoilt daughter of a rich dad. No emotional connect is there for a character which Imtiaz Ali seemingly wanted to be just like the lovable Geet from his own 'Jab We Met', but fails badly with his own writing and his choice of Nargis.

For a movie which was promoted as a film based on Music, it's all noise for the songs as well as the background score. A.R.Rahman comes up with his weakest compositions ever, which are nothing new in instrumentation and relies heavily on screeching and repetitive tunes. He does indeed comes with Kun Fayakun which brought tears in my eyes during it play in the film, not for the visuals along but for the beautiful words from Holy Quran. But then again, a Quawali by Rahman has always been great, so nothing new to write. Maybe to an extent the song Naadan Parindey is good, but by the time it is played in end, one is so exhausted with the headache from the film that one just wants to leave. Once again, Rahman fails from being burdened with carrying the film on his shoulder when there is no script in first place, forget about a musical story that was promoted in his name.

The editor(s) of the film must be celebrated for at least trying to make sense from the crap the director handed them to work on. I am sure the screenplay of the film, which is not experimental but screenplay of convenience, was come up with on the editing table itself. At least the film moves at fast pace, except for the last 20 something minutes, where the film drag like hell and mostly substituted with scenes played before also. As for the costumes for Jordan, they are worse than my used Night clothes and no Rockstar wears such clothes which will have even the poor slum dwellers to cheer.

If the meaning of becoming a Rockstar is to must have a doomed true-love story, then sorry to say the writers know nothing about the music world. Music by itself is true love for the one who practice it. Music aspirations, just like Love, can never be forced. And if Luck or Destiny is what the makers wanted to reason with, then they should have gone for an animated story of cartoon characters where they could do anything with Luck and Destiny.

The movie is a complete failure for the art of cinema and I can not think of giving it more than 1/2 stars out of 5, that too being generous for not giving me migraine attack.

'In Time': Movie Review

Remember waking up to an amazing dream where you did surreal escapades. You don't really know how you got in the situation you are in, something Christopher Nolan's Inception taught us really well, and when you feel like something is missing when the adventure ends. Watching Andrew Niccol's 'In Time' is exactly the similar experience, albeit in year 2161.

The basic premise of the film is explained in a beginning narration by our lead actor that all humans have been genetically modified to stop againg at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year. A person could practically live forever if he earns time. Time is therefore now the currency everything is dealt in, and every service is also paid in Time. One dies as the time stops. So you have goons who kill others for their time, and people exploit each other while they barter food and travel rides.

Will Salas, played by Justin Timberlake, is a 28 year old factory worker living with his 50 year old single mother in the ghettos of Dayton. Each social class lives in different time zone, with the rich living in New Greenwich. In a turn of events a 105 year old stranger with more than a century in his clock reveals to will the inequality in the time system and the way to reach New Greenwich. He secretly gives his entire time to Will and dies before he could be saved. Charged with murder by stealing time and with abundant time in hand, Will decides to go for revenge for the inequality. At New Greenwich, he meets 27 year old Sylvia Weis, played by Amanda Seyfried, daughter of the richest man around. There is instant attraction followed by abduction to save his life. Now back in Dayton, both are left with few hours to live. How they survive their time, while becoming robin-hood to the poor and pain in the ass for the rich Dad and his army of Timekeepers is the story that follows.

The lead characters and their charisma is what keeps the film working for the audience. There are very few surprises but the thrill element of the film's basic premise is surely catching. Justin Timberlake plays the hot poker faced Will to hilt, and Amanda Seyfried does her bit of being the spoiled rich male fantasy who wants to do something fun and stupid in life to live life on the edge. Cinematography is eye-catching and the razor sharp editing of the film is its biggest strength. Had there been a solid story to answer the unanswered questions about the premise, the film could have been an amazing experience. But alas, what one takes away is a fantastic dream which got over before the actual climax.

Enjoy the fun ride while its lasts, but don't expect to take back home an experience. Like a morning dream, it thrills till it lasts and once over the thrills will be lost quite soon, leaving you with questions about the dream.

A generous 2.5 out of 5 rating is the real worth of 'In Time'. Watch it, enjoy it and move on.

'Ra.One': Movie Review

                   

There is a moment during the first chase sequence in the film Ra.One where Kareena's character asks her son Prateek as to how can Ra.One and G.One come out of the virtual world and continue the virtual enmity in real life. To this Prateek tells her to continue driving through this mess, he will tell her later. My biggest grouse with the film stands exactly at this point. Everything is, "watch now, explanation will be done later."; which coincidentally never happens at all. For a film which is full of scientific advancements in present day like never even thought before one would at least expect the logic on which everything science is based on, no matter it being a Hindi film.

Superhero films are meant with logical reason to the super-power, even if it is extra-terrestrial nature. Case in point Koi Mil Gaya and Krish. Present that in even a single minute and everything is acceptable. But Ra.One conveniently leaves that all. There is no explanation as to how a game so advanced that its 'villain' with 0.01% of losing ratio comes out of in real world from virtual world but can be programmed in a jiffy by a 10 year old, not once but twice. And that too when the kid is not at all close to his genius father to learn the tricks of trade from him. The only apparent logic that the film gives is during the opening sequence where an apparently lost Shahana Goswami addresses London press in Hindi that, "its all possible because their company has made it."

Ra.One is ambitious without doubt, has some terrific VFX for an Indian film and is apparently the best 2D to 3D converted film I have watched, Hollywood included. But having a super-star like Shahrukh Khan who has access to best creative talent around the world making the audience accept the advancement of home-grown technology for a shamelessly paper thin story and almost no-direction by Anubhav Sinha is a monstrosity of illogical proportion.

The film turns out to be a spoof movie collage marketed as a superhero movie with scenes inspired from films like Spiderman, Superman, Tron Legacy, Iron Man, Matrix trilogy, X-Men series, Robot and even Mr Bean, 2012 and popular video games all rolled into a 70's style loud background scored film where the Hero and Villain will say their dialogues in slow motion and then the camera do a 10 sec slow pan of the person. SRK overdoes the tamil Shekhar with the racist Aiyo, the vulgar crotch touching acts and the horrendous hairstyle. As G.One he apparently mistakes his My Name is Khan's mentally challenged character as a virtual Robotic Character. At times when I was connecting with G.One's emotions, I used to shake myself from the sudden feeling that this is not MNIK. G.one touching the crotch of Ra.One was the height of vulgarity. Kareena is luminous like never before but her character is too shallow to feel her emotional bond with any event in her love or family life. The son's character is where one connects somewhat but his sudden maturity in a genius wizkid is hard to digest. Arjun Rampal apparently gets role of lifetime to act as mechanic as he is as an actor. His Ra.One is pointless and not once menacing as the game's non-destructive villain is described. The very talented Shahana Goswami is sidelined with sloppy dialogues and poorly written role.

At the end, Ra.One for me succeeds in making me understand the true value of originality and creativity in writing. The film will definitely be a benchmark in technical advancement in India but will sadly remain a flawed film as it has got no foundation of story which is a shame considering what smart writing and effective direction could have done with the no-holds barred losing of purse-strings by Shahrukh Khan.

I will rate it 2.5 on a scale of 5. It is neither here, nor there.