Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Cleanin' Out My Closet

I got some skeletons in my closet
And I don't know if no one knows it
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it
I'mma expose it.

Sometimes, every day, I ask myself the reason for pitching in my life on a public platform, with unquoted quotes, stretched between sometimes short and sometimes long psycho-analysis, gift wrapped in a strongly thought blog title.

Sometimes, every day, I answer myself that I am have made such a royal and exorbitant mess of my own abilities that I am never ever lived with a push and zest, like I lived just to survive each day for a new day that will be a new start that never was meant to be, because this is one life after all, with only newer chapter being added in one single life book.

Cleaning up the closets with stored utilities and gifts, the day went pretty neat, with simple yet profound laughs, as a family should experience. I was the felicitator, and Bhabhi and Mom were the modes which mostly exchanged views and love filled banters. But I did have my own time too, and I seized this happy family time with my own witty and carefully and respectfully worded remarks. It was like destiny giving me my needs. And I really believe that my destiny is giving me clearing me of all my questions by having me see the answers amidst my own self.

You never know what you have until you clean your room.

From family talks to friends and their lives, I have almost become a calm designated person to have my friends share their relationship and love issues with me. It’s interesting as it makes me see what I have come from, the good, the bad and the ugly. Nothing is abnormal as everything in every relationship is normal. We find it weird and unsettling because we really don’t know the life someone else has been living to make a certain decision(s) or take a specific action(s) or speak a particular word(s).

Everything is okay at the end of the day. Okay, because it has happened after all. Time is always to see what to do now as next. Tomorrow I may face certain situation that I may not have ever thought or heard, but that does not make me abnormal or the wrong person. It’s all life at the end of the day (or night). Like I selfishly listen to my friends, not just for friendship but also to personally grow.

My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'Til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach

It was I who made me feel low. It was I who had me wrong myself. It was I who questioned why from my life events. I was weak and unsure and sadly, feeling like a victim is the most violent addiction that can ever be. I was sick and until I accepted it, I did not start trying to cure myself. I am getting better and I know it, because I feel it; ever thine, ever mine, ever ours.

Well guess what, I am dead - dead to you as can be!

Out of the closet, I never felt a changed person. But I lived in that closet for long to have it an indelible part of my life – My Past. I died, psychologically, inside that closet many times in my past and I am now making peace with that death, by cleanin' out my closet.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Mohabbatein Lessons, 20 Years On!

Mar Bhi Jayein Pyar Walein.. Mitt Bhi Jayein Yaar Walein.. Zinda Rehti Hai Unki Mohabbatein.. In year 2000, filmmaker and scion ...